Carp's Best Picture Oscar Pick

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Mark Carpenter, SKAR executive vice president, is our resident movie critic and curmudgeon at large. Having seen all of this year’s nominated films, we asked him to give us his pick for which one will win the Oscar … in his own uniquely cranky way.

Here are Mark’s thoughts on the flicks in the best picture category:

“Black Panther”
This one got raves but never really did it for me. Too much philosophizing, too much technology, too much plot, too much everything.

“The Favourite”
The only movie I’ve ever seen where you get to see all three main characters throw up. There was less vomit in
“Animal House.”

“A Star Is Born”
Hollywood has made five versions of this stupid story. The only thing that has been recycled more are plastic water bottles. Next.

“Green Book”
I actually liked this one, but it was predictably preachy. Wouldn’t mind if it won.

“Bohemian Rhapsody”
As much as I love Queen and as totally as Rami Malek embodies Freddie Mercury, it’s your basic rock star life story — obscurity to fame to tragic death. Seen it before.

“Roma”
I’ve had sinus infections that last less time than this picture runs. Long, slow and tedious.

“BlacKkKlansman”
Spike Lee is a brilliant filmmaker, but his movies have all the subtlety of a shovel across the teeth. And is it just me, or is Adam Driver in every movie made over the last three years?

And the Oscar goes to … “Vice”
Diabolically funny and frightening at the same time, Adam McKay’s story of the life of Machiavellian Vice President Dick Cheney sends shivers up your spine. Most importantly, it ingeniously expands what a biopic can be.

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